Continued from Part 2
Our first touch. I’m holding her hand. It’s taken us several sessions to get here – just the right amount of time.
We’re leaving the heady world of language and entering the bodily realm of touch. I feel my breath expand. I feel more fully inside my skin – inhabiting my physical form. I love this place. It’s where I feel most human.
I take a slow deep breath and let my attention flow into the place where my body meets hers. Her hand feels pleasantly cool. I feel the strong steady beat of her pulse. Softly looking at her eyes and face, I watch for signs of emotion, clues to her experience. What do I see? Surprise. Relief. Curiosity.
After a few moments she looks down at her hand then back up at me and lets out a small sigh. Her shoulders relax and she sinks into the couch a bit more. That’s a good sign.
“Your hands are really warm,” she says. I smile in return and say nothing.
After about half a minute her hand feels warm too.
I feel alive. I notice how the touch ignites in me warm pleasurable sensations. I breath into those sensations and feel them expand through my body. They spiral up through my center, through my heart, and down into my hands. Instantly they get hot.
I haven’t moved. Plenty is happening in the stillness. I’m closely observing her response to the touch. I notice that her breath has quickened and her face has softened into a gentle smile.
Trusting that’s she fine, I let myself close my eyes for a moment to enjoy the realm of pure sensation. I feel my body move as I breath, I feel hers move as she breathes. I feel the softness of her skin, the smoothness her palms, and the firm bones in the back of her hand. These simple things feel exquisitely pleasurable in this moment.
After a few seconds, I open my eyes again. She’s watching me with a curious look on her face. “Wow, that feels really good,” she remarks. “What are you doing?”
I flash her an innocent smile and say, “Just holding your hand. Feeling sensations. Breathing. I’m glad that it feels good. We can stay like this or you can direct my touch if you’d like something else.”
“Actually this is good.” she replies. “I just want to keep feeling this.”
“Great. You might want to try closing your eyes so you can savour the sensation.”
She does.
I continue to hold her in Loving Presence, feel sensations and breath. I feel a slight tremble move through her body, see a flush rise in her cheeks as she lets go of a long languid sigh. Her hand seems to melt deeper into mine – soft and warm. I notice the boundary between her and I is dissolving. Where she begins and I end is less apparent.
As the timer chimes, signalling the end of 3 minutes, I notice a tear has emerged in the corner of her eye.
I gently remove my hands. The warmth lingers on them.
She opens her eyes. She looks mournful and happy at the same time.
“Nobody has ever touched me like that before,” she says.
